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When Life Doesn't Go Your Way

9/23/2023

God is Sovereign! You have to remember that. Life is messy, but God is in control of it. In reality, there is order, though we may not see it. Yes, things do not go our way all of the time, but you have to process the trial and find the joy in it. Find what you are to learn in the trial. Do not waste your trial or detour in life. Be open to what the Lord is doing in your life. Sometimes the detours in life bring joys your would have missed if you did not have the detour. The Lord knows what He is doing. Some of the most painful moments in my life have been the sweetest times with the Lord. He is the one person you never have to explain yourself to. He knows you from your head to your toes. He knows your whole history and knew you before your were born. Let that blow your mind. The God that created the universe knew you before your were formed in your mother's womb. Ps 139 Your are fearfully and wonderfully made. He loves you. You have to believe that and not think that God hates you when things do not go your way. If you were to see what He is trying to do in your life you would be humbled.
This is our detour, we have had residency for 1 year and 3 months. In Italy, you are allowed to drive on your country's drivers license for 1 year. I personally think, 1 year is good if you came from Europe but outside of Europe should be 2 years. The first year, your head feels like it is in a whirlwind. You have to take the driving test in Italian. The first year, we were just trying to figure out where to shop. Who has the best deals and get to language school. We knew we needed to get to driving school but we just could not do that. The people told us it is about 650 to 700 euros so times 2 and it is a lot of money. Also, it was all I could do to show up to language school. I would come home and crash. Well, the Lord is amazing. We were waiting for the revisione to come in the mail. Revisione is the smog check. It never came. Adamo got pulled over for it and we got 2 tickets one for the revisione and 1 for not having an Italian license. They took his American license. It is so sad because his motorcycle was finally fixed and he did not have a chance to enjoy it. Where we live reminds me of the colosseum. My neighbors watch every move we make and gossip. :) It is like living in a fish bowl. You cannot help but laugh sometimes. So...I cannot do the "drive anyway on my American license" because my neighbors all know and could report us. Is it frustrating? Yes. We are 6 people. When we go to the supermarket we bring home 4 to 5 recycle bags of food. It is hard to do that with a bicycle. The supermarket that we go does not deliver to our town. I have also learned the trains are not reliable. Yes, it is annoying and frustrating. Adamo and I talked about it and realized that the Lord wants us to learn public transportation and the bicycle. We also knew if this had not happened we would have probably procrastinated because the test is in Italian and we were driving and comfortable. We are now HIGHLY motivated to learn. It is going to be hard when winter comes because it is the rain season. I have never relied on public transportation before or ridden a bicycle regularly since I was 8 years old. My first day was, well..... humbling. I put the bicycle in the wrong car of the train twice. The GPS got me lost and I am terrible at turning on a bicycle. I know....it is an important thing to be able to do. I almost hit a car then at another point I fell and on the knee that was already hurting. By the time I got on the train and sat down to go home, I put my sunglasses on and let the tears flow quietly as I was surrounded by men and did not want them to hear me cry. I did ask God what is it He wants me to learn besides, I am failing all the time. The verse Phil 4:4 " Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice." Joshua 1 :9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." The Lord knows me so well. I am frightened a lot, but the Lord is with me and I am learning a lot. I remember in University they had written, "Keep on keeping on. " When the Lord is walking with you do you really need anyone else? No, though it is nice to have people in your life to walk through life with but really all you need is the Lord Himself. Adamo and I are studying and it is a little easier for him since he reads Italian as it is his mother language. I will have to depend on the Lord to help me because the language is higher than where I am. We will celebrate when we can drive again. I already told Adamo where I want to go when I get my license, my favorite place....Lido di Camaiore and I bet Adamo will want to go to Cinque Terre for his celebration. :)

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Living By Faith

9/10/2023

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Living by faith is a beautiful concept. Most people read a biography about George Mueller or read his autobiography and think that his way of living is the right way of living. I do not disagree with you, but I will say, this way of living is NOT for the faint of heart and it takes a lifetime to master. We are still learning. I want to start this conversation by posing a question, If you can trust God for your salvation and spending eternity with Him, can you trust this amazing God with your life here on earth. THAT is the presupposition that George Mueller started with when he started the orphanage. His number 1 reason for starting the orphanage was not the orphans. His number 1 reason for starting the orphanage was to show the people in his church that God loves them and WILL provide for them. The key was that he only told God his needs. People say that George Mueller had the gift of faith. No, he did not and even he would say he did not. He exercised his muscle of faith and learned his and our God. If you read his autobiography and then read his writings when he was ninety you will see something amazing about George Mueller, a progression. As an analogy I will use body building. George Mueller in the beginning of his living by faith was like an adolescent boy not much muscles. When he was on the row houses he was like a 24 year old man somewhat ripped but that is it. I say that because he prayed hours and constantly checked mailboxes for any gifts. I would say he was calm on the outside but a bit stressed on the inside. You read when he was ninety and you have a man of faith like Mr. Olympian. He prayed a simple prayer about the needs of the orphans and went to sleep. He knew God would provide. Interesting point, when he was in the row houses he would have massive migraines when he was older he was never sick. The more you exercise your muscle of faith the more it grows.
What is the reality of living by faith? I said it is not for the faint of heart. Your bills may be late to be paid. Your kids will not be in extra curricular activities unless you start them. You will not be going on family vacations. You will be broke a lot, though you will have a roof over your head, food on your table and clothes on your back, which means God has provided. The lessons I have learned are a lot. When we moved to Colorado from California I have always said we entered God's school. From University I graduated with a major and a double minor. One of the minors is an automatic Bible minor. Doctrines was a hard class because you had to memorize passages of the Bible. I think God's school is harder because God knows you from head to toe. He knows your weaknesses and where you need to grow. He is a firm and hard teacher but One that is compassionate, loving, merciful, and kind. In 2008 when the economy crashed we lost everything. Our money came from California. Between August and September 2008 our income dropped to half because California's housing bubble bust. I was pregnant with my youngest. I am the accountant of our family. I understood the gravity of the situation. I tried to explain to Adamo but he was not following and I had zero patience to explain so I asked if I could be by myself for a while I needed to talk to God and he said yes. I was in the room for hours wrestling with God because I did not want to go through what I knew we had to go through. I cried and talked with God. I asked if I have to go through a bankruptcy could He please help me and hold my hand through it. He gave me peace. By the time I walk out the Lord strengthened me which was necessary because when Adamo realized the gravity of everything I had to be there for him for many months following the bankruptcy. The Lord provided a house to rent, which we lived in for 13 years, and a mini van, because I had to surrender our other minivan. The Lord took care of us. When I read George Mueller I struggle because I knew God can provide for us I just was not sure if He would want provide for us. I slowly learned the answer was yes. I learned the answers do not look as you expect. Some lessons I learned: 1) God doesn't work on our timetable. We didn't have the money to pay the electric bill and the due date came and went and nothing. I remember that sometimes the money came "late" and I kept trusting. The next day something sold and I could pay the bill. 2) God's answer is not what we are expecting. One of many nights we did not have anything for dinner though God always provided we never went to bed hungry. We had a package of pasta. The Lord allowed a lot of rain and the dandelions were plentiful. For Americans, it is a weed, but it is a healthy herb and Adamo had the boys help him pick up the dandelion leaves and he cleaned them and made a pasta dish with them. 3)Be thankful for even $1. I needed rent which was $1850 at the time. I received a check in the mail for $1.47 for overpayment at a doctors office. I was rejoicing because I knew God was going to provide the rest. Adamo said that is not the rent money and I said I know but if you cannot be thankful for $1.47 you will not be thankful for $1850. I learned from George Mueller as he was thankful for 6 pence. 4) God only has a plan A so get on it and stop planning plan B. Every time we tried to start plan B God never blessed it. It failed. In Psalms 139:5 David mentions "You hem me in, behind and before and lay your hand upon me. " Adamo and I affectionately call that the room with no windows and doors. We were there for years. No matter how hard you tried you cannot get out. The Lord left the top open so we could look UP. We finally got to a place we rested and looked up and found the beauty of the room. We enjoyed when the Lord let us out and we could make money, but we learned the Lord will take care of us. I have so many stories of God's provisions. One I will share is when my Italian citizenship came through. I finished the paperwork in 2015, that had its own amazing stories, Adamo asked me how will we get to Chicago when the citizenship comes through? I said I do not know but if God provided and orchestrated this far He knows. Well, in 2018 we found out. Normally, our hail season is late spring early summer. God had protected our car all these years. The hail would start after we parked in the garage or the hail stopped before we came to the area. August 2018 Adamo said as he took Leonardo to the store, " I hope it rains so I don't have to water." Within 7 to 10 minutes the heavens opened and hail poured down until it looked like snow. Our car was damaged. Our other adopt brother and uncle to the boys mentioned to call the insurance. After we got off the phone with the insurance and she said the check was in the mail, we went to Lowes, which is a hardware store. Gianluca called me and said I think your citizenship came through. I asked how do you know and he said it has your maiden name and it is from Chicago. When I got off the phone I looked at Adamo and said the hail storm was how God was going to pay for the trip for my citizenship. I had everything paid for and as we were leaving, there was an envelope on the door. Inside there was $500. I wondered why God gave us $500. We deposited on our way to the airport. I found out after the trip. The hotel put a hold on my debit card when I checked in. Before the $500 I did not have extra money in the bank. The Lord provided the $500 for the hold and incidental costs we did not know about. I learned from George Mueller you see how much is in your bank say $60 and you need $2000 don't look horizontal, meaning man's perspective or what you see because you will shake and shake you do, but look upward to God, vertical, and rest in the Lord. It takes some spiritual muscle to do that because the flesh wants to look at what you see. Through the years though I have learned to be thankful for EVERYTHING. I realized I deserve absolutely nothing and am so thankful for everything anyone gives or does or what we have. God is so gracious.
If you want to live by faith find verses to cling to and to pray to the Lord. If you are a missionary don't fall to the trap of thinking God cannot provide unless you tell everyone your needs. I have always said do not treasure the most those that give you money because you will compromise for the dollar, but treasure the most the prayer warriors that can give you nothing because they are fighting spiritual battles for you. God owns the universe and He can provide for you through Christians and non Christians, but only Christians can pray on your behalf. Verses I cling to Psalm 94:17-19, Mark 11:24. Luke 22:35, Psalm 55:22, Psalm 123:1-2, Isaiah 26:3-4, Psalm 104:17-18, Philippians 4:4-7, I John 5:14-15, Matt. 6:33. May the Lord Jesus be glorified!

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When Life Doesn't Go Your Way

Living By Faith

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