I am planning to do a journey update about once a year. It is to update the tab that says our journey. It will be the most personal blog and longer than normal. As with all our blogs I will always be honest and not paint anything better or worse than it really is. We are sinners saved by grace walking on this journey of life living for Christ. Some days we are victorious and sometimes we fall flat on our faces. We have not “arrived” spiritually until we are dead and with Christ.
We have been here in Italy for 1 year and 5 months. At times it feels so much longer than that and at times it feels like we just got here. A friend of ours, who we adopted as an uncle to our kids, told us years ago that the move to Italy is going to be hard and it puts a lot of strain on a marriage. The cracks that may be little in the States will be more visible in the move and transition of living in another country. For some people the strain gets to be too much on the marriage. I knew he was right, but I figured after our first year of marriage we could face anything. Our first year of marriage was anything but a honeymoon period. I had my major operation in Aug. 2000. It had a 6-week recovery, but I could not take 6 weeks because I had to plan a wedding and teach. I was an elementary school teacher. My body was struggling to keep up. Then we got married Dec. 2000. In January, I had another surgery and was put on Lupron, which puts the body in a medicated menopause. My body gave out and I couldn’t teach. June, Adamo had major hand surgery. He is a hairstylist. I got off Lupron in June because the side effects were so bad that I could not take it anymore. August 2001, I had another surgery, and I got a pelvic infection from it. In September 2001 I found out I was pregnant with our first son. We also dealt with a lot of outside pressure from people. We were so happy to celebrate our first anniversary. We survived and made it. 😊 Every year has been like aging wine it gets better. So, I thought after surviving the first year we would be able to handle the move and transition even though we both knew the pressure would be intense. The pressure was intense, and it did everything our adopted brother said. The Lord held us together. Once we got into our place, we began to rebuild our marriage. We started going on an occasional date. We started walking together and talking. We prayed together. We continue to strengthen our marriage and it keeps getting better and better.
What were some of the intensities that we faced. It started with selling our stuff and deciding what to keep. It does not sound stressful but oddly enough it is. We had been in our house for 13 years so that is a lot of stuff you can accumulate. The last year was the most stressful not just because there was the packing, we had to get health things taken care of before we left. We had gotten the covid shot to ensure we could get into the country. That had bad consequences for me. I was very sick one week a month for about 5 -6 months. Adamo would nurse me back to health every time. I was teaching in a ladies Bible study in the fall. In October 2021 I had surgery. Adamo had fallen 6 months before and so in October he had 2 molars extracted from infection from the fall. Adamo had a surgery on his nerve in his arm. Then we had all our checkups from eyes, teeth to anything you can think of. Once we landed in Italy, I thought it would not be that difficult to find a place to live. We were looking for a place like the States but more modest at least 3bdrm 2 bath with kitchen but unfurnished. You would think I was asking for the world. 😊 Unfurnished in Italy is no kitchen and no fixtures meaning lights. I was fine with that, but here to get in is 3 months rent but you must pay the realtor fees. I found a place right when I landed but the owner would not meet us. It is interesting that was in Borgo a Mozzano which is close to where we live. It was perfect, but the Lord said no. I was not expecting it to take so long, and I did not do short term rental for 3 months. I had to scramble to find new accommodation every month. The Lord was faithful. We always had a roof over our heads, food on our table and clothes on our backs. We were good. It was very expensive to do vacation rentals. We are 6 people. We did not have just 6 luggage like if you were on vacation we had 12 large duffle bags, 6 carry-ons and 6 backpacks. Every place we lived we had to buy things to make the place work for our family. Moving from place to place took about 6 to 7 carloads. Every place we found and put an application in the owner would say, “Unfortunately we decided to give the apartment to our friend”. We had the pressure of knowing that we had 2 pallets coming and we needed an address, and I was seeing the move was wearing on the boys as depression was setting in. Some of the owners wanted a whole year’s rent and would only rent to us for 1 year. You don’t get residency like that. You need residency in order to buy a car. We were renting a car for about 950 to 1000 euros a month and it was a dump. We knew we were being taken advantage of and were desperate to get residency. Finally, the realtor said it will take an act of God for us to get a place to live. Well……. God acted. In a week after the man said that we had a place. We shared with him and others what God did. We have rented a 3 bedroom and 2 bath house with a garden. When Adamo originally said he wanted a garden I thought he was nuts because most people live in apartments and we would be doing good to get one, but God gave it to him. Unfortunately furnished but the owner was willing to remove furniture as we replace some of it. You might ask what is the big deal about whether it is furnished or unfurnished. When you buy a bed, sofa, books, table, kitchen equipment it makes you feel permanent. When you have completely nothing you feel like it is not your home and temporary. The kids and I for sure needed to feel permanent. We just left everything. I knew from moving through my life the faster you feel connected to your home the sooner you feel like you ARE home and can move out from it to assimilate. We worked hard to make this house a home. The house had a 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment that was being rented. When it became available, we prayed about it to see if the Lord would allow us to have the whole house and use the bedroom as my study and guest bedroom. The Lord allowed us by allowing the price to be dropped. We couldn’t have afforded it if the price hadn’t dropped. Now we have 2 kitchens which is better for my health. The gluten is in the little kitchen and Adamo preps food from the gluten free kitchen to keep me from contamination. Originally the only thing that I wanted that I didn’t get was a study because I cannot concentrate when everyone is around me talking to me. It is impossible. I think I have had ADHD all these years and never knew it. 😊The Lord, through the apartment, answered my heart’s desire. I love having a study! I just listen to music and can study and write. We are looking forward to having people to stay with us. We have been praying that the Lord shows us who He wants us to house. I was very purposeful to make sure that the boys were okay. I moved as a kid. I liked moving because I was the type of child that wanted to see what was on the other side of the mountain, but I knew my brother hated it. He was bullied a lot being the new kid. I never forgot that and watched out for my boys.
Adamo and I have been thankful for everyone God has brought across our path on our journey. We embraced them. I like the Italian way more than the American. I am not big on ‘I love you’ between friends but in Italian it is ‘ti voglio bene’ Adamo explained to me it is ‘I care for you’ type of I love you. That is how I feel about every person I let in my life. I think the definition of ti voglio bene is Adamo. He has such a big heart and is so quick to love people. He goes an extra mile for people. Over the years I have learned so much from him and how he cares for people. I totally represent my name Lentini – Slow. 😊 I am slow to embrace people but when I do I “ti voglio bene” hard those people. If that makes sense. We have found here making friends is harder. It does remind me of Los Angeles, CA. A lot of people I met with Adamo there, it was about if they could profit from you or you had some benefit to them, they were interested in knowing you. If not, they weren’t. The other was, if you were in the right circles. It is sad…I guess people today do not need genuine people to genuinely care for them. I do. Nothing brings me more joy than when my adopted brother or sister writes to me. Adamo and I adopt people to be brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and mothers and fathers. I don’t know if the custom is alive any more here. I know it is in other countries. Adamo taught me that when you are truly embraced by a family you become apart of the family. I really like the custom. Adamo struggled because in America we don’t have the custom. He would embrace people like that, and most people took it, we are good friends but there was always the distinction between family and friends. He would get hurt. Here they will not get remotely close enough to be embraced. I think the Lord will bring the right people to be in those positions. We have a few in the States and are very thankful for them.
The other interesting struggle is Adamo is born and raised in Italy and speaks Italian and his whole family is in Italy but when he came back his own people call him an American. It was a hard one for Adamo. He has NEVER left who he is as an Italian. He is a US citizen, but he is a proud Italian. He never compromised how he eats or cooks. For the longest time we ate at Italian mealtimes. He never lost who he is and where he came from. It was hard for him to hear. He was a bit devastated when we first came.
All these things add up along with just plain culture shock that hit us in the face when we walked off the plane. As an American the hardest has been, I understand my language, the ins and outs of that language and culture and come here and being reduced to a kindergartener. You feel lost a lot. I have an engineer mind I like to understand how things work including language. The frustration at times gets really high. Realizing language and all of its nuances will take me a lifetime to learn. I will be here until I am with the Lord. This is my new country and home. We are all slowly embracing our new home of Italy and for I think most of us we plan to live and die here. May our lives reflect Christ while we live and in how we die.
We have been here in Italy for 1 year and 5 months. At times it feels so much longer than that and at times it feels like we just got here. A friend of ours, who we adopted as an uncle to our kids, told us years ago that the move to Italy is going to be hard and it puts a lot of strain on a marriage. The cracks that may be little in the States will be more visible in the move and transition of living in another country. For some people the strain gets to be too much on the marriage. I knew he was right, but I figured after our first year of marriage we could face anything. Our first year of marriage was anything but a honeymoon period. I had my major operation in Aug. 2000. It had a 6-week recovery, but I could not take 6 weeks because I had to plan a wedding and teach. I was an elementary school teacher. My body was struggling to keep up. Then we got married Dec. 2000. In January, I had another surgery and was put on Lupron, which puts the body in a medicated menopause. My body gave out and I couldn’t teach. June, Adamo had major hand surgery. He is a hairstylist. I got off Lupron in June because the side effects were so bad that I could not take it anymore. August 2001, I had another surgery, and I got a pelvic infection from it. In September 2001 I found out I was pregnant with our first son. We also dealt with a lot of outside pressure from people. We were so happy to celebrate our first anniversary. We survived and made it. 😊 Every year has been like aging wine it gets better. So, I thought after surviving the first year we would be able to handle the move and transition even though we both knew the pressure would be intense. The pressure was intense, and it did everything our adopted brother said. The Lord held us together. Once we got into our place, we began to rebuild our marriage. We started going on an occasional date. We started walking together and talking. We prayed together. We continue to strengthen our marriage and it keeps getting better and better.
What were some of the intensities that we faced. It started with selling our stuff and deciding what to keep. It does not sound stressful but oddly enough it is. We had been in our house for 13 years so that is a lot of stuff you can accumulate. The last year was the most stressful not just because there was the packing, we had to get health things taken care of before we left. We had gotten the covid shot to ensure we could get into the country. That had bad consequences for me. I was very sick one week a month for about 5 -6 months. Adamo would nurse me back to health every time. I was teaching in a ladies Bible study in the fall. In October 2021 I had surgery. Adamo had fallen 6 months before and so in October he had 2 molars extracted from infection from the fall. Adamo had a surgery on his nerve in his arm. Then we had all our checkups from eyes, teeth to anything you can think of. Once we landed in Italy, I thought it would not be that difficult to find a place to live. We were looking for a place like the States but more modest at least 3bdrm 2 bath with kitchen but unfurnished. You would think I was asking for the world. 😊 Unfurnished in Italy is no kitchen and no fixtures meaning lights. I was fine with that, but here to get in is 3 months rent but you must pay the realtor fees. I found a place right when I landed but the owner would not meet us. It is interesting that was in Borgo a Mozzano which is close to where we live. It was perfect, but the Lord said no. I was not expecting it to take so long, and I did not do short term rental for 3 months. I had to scramble to find new accommodation every month. The Lord was faithful. We always had a roof over our heads, food on our table and clothes on our backs. We were good. It was very expensive to do vacation rentals. We are 6 people. We did not have just 6 luggage like if you were on vacation we had 12 large duffle bags, 6 carry-ons and 6 backpacks. Every place we lived we had to buy things to make the place work for our family. Moving from place to place took about 6 to 7 carloads. Every place we found and put an application in the owner would say, “Unfortunately we decided to give the apartment to our friend”. We had the pressure of knowing that we had 2 pallets coming and we needed an address, and I was seeing the move was wearing on the boys as depression was setting in. Some of the owners wanted a whole year’s rent and would only rent to us for 1 year. You don’t get residency like that. You need residency in order to buy a car. We were renting a car for about 950 to 1000 euros a month and it was a dump. We knew we were being taken advantage of and were desperate to get residency. Finally, the realtor said it will take an act of God for us to get a place to live. Well……. God acted. In a week after the man said that we had a place. We shared with him and others what God did. We have rented a 3 bedroom and 2 bath house with a garden. When Adamo originally said he wanted a garden I thought he was nuts because most people live in apartments and we would be doing good to get one, but God gave it to him. Unfortunately furnished but the owner was willing to remove furniture as we replace some of it. You might ask what is the big deal about whether it is furnished or unfurnished. When you buy a bed, sofa, books, table, kitchen equipment it makes you feel permanent. When you have completely nothing you feel like it is not your home and temporary. The kids and I for sure needed to feel permanent. We just left everything. I knew from moving through my life the faster you feel connected to your home the sooner you feel like you ARE home and can move out from it to assimilate. We worked hard to make this house a home. The house had a 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment that was being rented. When it became available, we prayed about it to see if the Lord would allow us to have the whole house and use the bedroom as my study and guest bedroom. The Lord allowed us by allowing the price to be dropped. We couldn’t have afforded it if the price hadn’t dropped. Now we have 2 kitchens which is better for my health. The gluten is in the little kitchen and Adamo preps food from the gluten free kitchen to keep me from contamination. Originally the only thing that I wanted that I didn’t get was a study because I cannot concentrate when everyone is around me talking to me. It is impossible. I think I have had ADHD all these years and never knew it. 😊The Lord, through the apartment, answered my heart’s desire. I love having a study! I just listen to music and can study and write. We are looking forward to having people to stay with us. We have been praying that the Lord shows us who He wants us to house. I was very purposeful to make sure that the boys were okay. I moved as a kid. I liked moving because I was the type of child that wanted to see what was on the other side of the mountain, but I knew my brother hated it. He was bullied a lot being the new kid. I never forgot that and watched out for my boys.
Adamo and I have been thankful for everyone God has brought across our path on our journey. We embraced them. I like the Italian way more than the American. I am not big on ‘I love you’ between friends but in Italian it is ‘ti voglio bene’ Adamo explained to me it is ‘I care for you’ type of I love you. That is how I feel about every person I let in my life. I think the definition of ti voglio bene is Adamo. He has such a big heart and is so quick to love people. He goes an extra mile for people. Over the years I have learned so much from him and how he cares for people. I totally represent my name Lentini – Slow. 😊 I am slow to embrace people but when I do I “ti voglio bene” hard those people. If that makes sense. We have found here making friends is harder. It does remind me of Los Angeles, CA. A lot of people I met with Adamo there, it was about if they could profit from you or you had some benefit to them, they were interested in knowing you. If not, they weren’t. The other was, if you were in the right circles. It is sad…I guess people today do not need genuine people to genuinely care for them. I do. Nothing brings me more joy than when my adopted brother or sister writes to me. Adamo and I adopt people to be brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and mothers and fathers. I don’t know if the custom is alive any more here. I know it is in other countries. Adamo taught me that when you are truly embraced by a family you become apart of the family. I really like the custom. Adamo struggled because in America we don’t have the custom. He would embrace people like that, and most people took it, we are good friends but there was always the distinction between family and friends. He would get hurt. Here they will not get remotely close enough to be embraced. I think the Lord will bring the right people to be in those positions. We have a few in the States and are very thankful for them.
The other interesting struggle is Adamo is born and raised in Italy and speaks Italian and his whole family is in Italy but when he came back his own people call him an American. It was a hard one for Adamo. He has NEVER left who he is as an Italian. He is a US citizen, but he is a proud Italian. He never compromised how he eats or cooks. For the longest time we ate at Italian mealtimes. He never lost who he is and where he came from. It was hard for him to hear. He was a bit devastated when we first came.
All these things add up along with just plain culture shock that hit us in the face when we walked off the plane. As an American the hardest has been, I understand my language, the ins and outs of that language and culture and come here and being reduced to a kindergartener. You feel lost a lot. I have an engineer mind I like to understand how things work including language. The frustration at times gets really high. Realizing language and all of its nuances will take me a lifetime to learn. I will be here until I am with the Lord. This is my new country and home. We are all slowly embracing our new home of Italy and for I think most of us we plan to live and die here. May our lives reflect Christ while we live and in how we die.