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Chronic Illness - The Hidden Blessings

11/4/2023

I am writing this as I am in a flare. A flare is when the illness is active. I wanted to write not when I am in remission but in the thick of feeling hideous. It is easy to be encouraging when you feel your normal and not in pain, fatigue and nausea. To say that as the title says that chronic illness has hidden blessings does not come when you first are dealing with health issues, it takes years walking with the Lord through the illness or illnesses. We can always find the negatives such as for a lot of us our dreams of what we would like to do stay just that dreams because we don't have the energy to do them and the stress to pursue the dream flares us back up. Also making plans is difficult because you don't know how you will feel. For me personally, I tried to do driving school and I was going to do the English and the Italian class as well as do Italian language school, but once I flared from the stress of things going on in my life I had to withdraw from everything to try and get better. For a lot of people with chronic illness autumn and spring are hard seasons on our bodies. There are days that are really hard especially when the pain is 7 all day for several days. I love Job in the Bible. Many people criticize him for saying that he wished he was never born, but you know God never rebuked him for that. God understood the agony that was in his heart. Think about it, in one day he lost all 10 kids, his wealth, God left him his not helpful wife and he had miserable friends and his health was hit and he was in pain constantly. Who wouldn't say that they wish they were never born? My point is we can go to the Lord and pour our hearts out to Him on those hard days. The best part is that God knows you from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. He knows all about you. You never have to explain yourself to God or be afraid he will misunderstand you or judge you for how you feel. He understands and is acquainted with all our weaknesses. Hebrews 4:15-16 "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." He is walking with you through your illness. As this lady name Bernice would tell me, "Tell whatever is on your heart to the Lord because He is not going to snitch on you." The best part is the Lord really cares and loves you. You can never bother the Lord. You can never come too much to the Lord. Jesus has 'put his money where his mouth is' when He tells us He loves us because He died for us. He has shown us through His actions and His faithfulness.
So, what is the blessings of Chronic illness? If you have walked with the Lord for any length of time you have verses that you hold onto. For those with Chronic illness those verses become infused into our hearts. We have drawn close to the Lord. Ps 119:67 "Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word." Our walk with the Lord becomes deeper because we run to Him more. Jesus is close to those that are suffering. I recommend to read a devotional by Susanna Spurgeon (Charles Spurgeon's wife). It is called Clusters of Camphire. It is written for those that are with Chronic illnesses. Susanna also struggle with a Chronic illness. She always points the reader to Christ and submitting to the refining process of the Lord. I am just going to list some other blessings. We learned to value the little things like sunsets, flowers, nature. We have learned to slow down and prioritize what is important. Yes, we may not be able to do a lot to physically help people but we can do a job that is often neglected and that is being a prayer warrior. The Christian battles are not physical but spiritual. We need more prayer warriors. We also realize that we only have so much energy and life is short so we pick and choose our battles with people. We have learned what will be will be and if it is suppose to get done it will. God will give us the energy for it. We can't afford to stress. All these life lessons many never learn and miss out on the beauty of Christ and of truly enjoying Him.
It is so easy to focus on our health 24/7 but let's instead focus our minds on enjoying Christ and those that God has in our lives.

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Legalism the Counterfeit Faith

10/31/2023

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I have had this blog in my mind and heart for a couple of months. I have been procrastinating on writing it. I needed time to pray and think through the topic. It is a very important topic that needs to be written about because there is so much at stake. Some will have their feathers ruffled and be upset, some will feel released from the weight of legalism and some will hopefully begin to heal from the destruction of legalism. Legalism is the counterfeit of genuine faith in Christ. Legalism can give the appearance of godliness without ever dealing with the heart. It can lead genuine believers astray. Newsflash, not everyone at church is saved. Legalism can derail genuine seekers and hurt terribly, young believers or sensitive believers. In the book, Pilgrims Progress, Worldly Wiseman distracted Christian from obeying Evangelist to go to the narrow gate and told him to go, instead, to Mr. Legality and his son Civility and they lived in the town of Morality. There were plenty of empty houses waiting to be inhabited. It leads to death. The heart is still a heart of stone not a heart of flesh. When you go through the narrow gate (Matthew 7:13) and embrace Christ as your Savior this is what happens Ezekiel 36:26-27 " And I will give you a new heart and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules." Jesus never backed down from confronting legalism. Matthew 15:8-9 "This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men." Paul addressed it. Galatians 2:11-14 " But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. For before certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles; but when they (Judaizers) came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party. And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy. But when I saw that their conduct was not in step with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas before them all, "If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you force the Gentiles to live like Jews?" No one is immune to legalism but we have to be vigilant and make sure that we are genuine in faith and true to the Gospel. So let us get into the topic.
First, I need to be clear that I am not talking about sin issues. If it was a sin 100 years ago then it is a sin today and it will be a sin 100 years from now. Sin does not change because our culture becomes accepting of it. To spell the sins out, some are: fornication, lying, coveting, adultery, idolatry, etc. God is immutable. He will never change. Isn't that a comfort? In a world that is constantly changing and to know that God does not change is a huge comfort. I am talking about conscience areas and the making of rules like the Pharisees did to try and keep the people far from breaking the law of God but ended up holding to their rules more than the Word of God. This is often what happens. It starts as a good intention then it becomes more important than the Word of God and becomes a weight on the people.
Let's talk about when Jesus said in John 14:15 "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." What commandments was He talking about? What did Jesus say? Matthew 22:35-40 "And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law? And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets." John 13:34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." You can look at any law or anything mentioned in the epistles and it falls into one of the two categories of loving God or loving others. God doesn't let us off of the hook with our enemies He says, " You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (Matthew 5:43-44) So our job is to keep the Lord's commandments. If we focus on just loving God as we should and loving others I think it will keep us busy for the rest of our lives. There is a freedom and joy in obeying our Savior. Jesus says "take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:29-30)
What happens? Where does legalism come from? Legalism definition according to the Webster dictionary is 1. strict literal, or excessive conformity to the law or to a religious or moral code - //the institutionalized legalism that restrict free choice 2. a legal term or rule. In the 1990's legalism was rampant in the US churches. It was more obvious back then because they had so many do's and don'ts and if you did 'a don't' then your were a back slidden Christian. Just to name a few for the don'ts- going to movies, dancing, listening to secular music or even Christian Contemporary music or music with a beat of any kind, drinking wine or any alcohol, women wearing pants, women and men swimming together, etc. People started waking up to legalism and in some sects it probably still exists but as a whole no. Well, not like it was. Now legalism is more subtle so that it is not picked up on very easily. Some of these are how you educate your children, what curriculum, home birth or hospital, vaccinate or not your children, what holidays you celebrate or don't celebrate, use western medicine or natural remedies. Covid days revealed a lot with mask or don't mask, vaccinate or don't, and politics oddly enough, environmentalist or no. When it comes to wars which side are you on. The effects are the same self-righteousness and judgemental attitudes and people being excluded and not loved in the church. People love to appear so godly like they have arrived. These attitudes are NOT godly. Now churches are starting to have thought policing where you cannot express concerns in the direction of a ministry or an elder or whatever it is because instead of being called a back slidden Christian you are now labeled divisive. Unfortunately, I don't think Paul, Peter and especially Jesus would be welcomed. They might be initially but then they would be kicked out for being divisive. We need to get back to what Jesus commands us to do. Love Him above all else and love one another as Christ loved us. Fun fact, did you know that in Ephesians 5 it is the same command to the husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for her. That is because marriage is the physical visual of Christ and the church. Our love for others is to be like Christ's love and we can only love by having Christ's love. He loved the 'unlovables' in peoples minds. Let the conscience issue stay exactly that conscience issues between the person and the Lord. Let us focus on keeping the Lord's commandments and don't add to them. Remember the Lord confronted the Pharisees and it was not softly it was brood of Viper, whitewash tombs, blind leading the blind, you are of your father the devil. We want to honor the Lord in our words, actions and attitude. It is hard to love people. I get that, it is hard because people hurt but that is what we are commanded to do so we can go to our Heavenly Father and ask for His love to love them. We are not on our own. Hebrews 13:5b-6 " I will never leave you nor forsake you so we can confidently say; The Lord is my helper I will not fear; what can man do to me?"

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When Life Doesn't Go Your Way

9/23/2023

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God is Sovereign! You have to remember that. Life is messy, but God is in control of it. In reality, there is order, though we may not see it. Yes, things do not go our way all of the time, but you have to process the trial and find the joy in it. Find what you are to learn in the trial. Do not waste your trial or detour in life. Be open to what the Lord is doing in your life. Sometimes the detours in life bring joys your would have missed if you did not have the detour. The Lord knows what He is doing. Some of the most painful moments in my life have been the sweetest times with the Lord. He is the one person you never have to explain yourself to. He knows you from your head to your toes. He knows your whole history and knew you before your were born. Let that blow your mind. The God that created the universe knew you before your were formed in your mother's womb. Ps 139 Your are fearfully and wonderfully made. He loves you. You have to believe that and not think that God hates you when things do not go your way. If you were to see what He is trying to do in your life you would be humbled.
This is our detour, we have had residency for 1 year and 3 months. In Italy, you are allowed to drive on your country's drivers license for 1 year. I personally think, 1 year is good if you came from Europe but outside of Europe should be 2 years. The first year, your head feels like it is in a whirlwind. You have to take the driving test in Italian. The first year, we were just trying to figure out where to shop. Who has the best deals and get to language school. We knew we needed to get to driving school but we just could not do that. The people told us it is about 650 to 700 euros so times 2 and it is a lot of money. Also, it was all I could do to show up to language school. I would come home and crash. Well, the Lord is amazing. We were waiting for the revisione to come in the mail. Revisione is the smog check. It never came. Adamo got pulled over for it and we got 2 tickets one for the revisione and 1 for not having an Italian license. They took his American license. It is so sad because his motorcycle was finally fixed and he did not have a chance to enjoy it. Where we live reminds me of the colosseum. My neighbors watch every move we make and gossip. :) It is like living in a fish bowl. You cannot help but laugh sometimes. So...I cannot do the "drive anyway on my American license" because my neighbors all know and could report us. Is it frustrating? Yes. We are 6 people. When we go to the supermarket we bring home 4 to 5 recycle bags of food. It is hard to do that with a bicycle. The supermarket that we go does not deliver to our town. I have also learned the trains are not reliable. Yes, it is annoying and frustrating. Adamo and I talked about it and realized that the Lord wants us to learn public transportation and the bicycle. We also knew if this had not happened we would have probably procrastinated because the test is in Italian and we were driving and comfortable. We are now HIGHLY motivated to learn. It is going to be hard when winter comes because it is the rain season. I have never relied on public transportation before or ridden a bicycle regularly since I was 8 years old. My first day was, well..... humbling. I put the bicycle in the wrong car of the train twice. The GPS got me lost and I am terrible at turning on a bicycle. I know....it is an important thing to be able to do. I almost hit a car then at another point I fell and on the knee that was already hurting. By the time I got on the train and sat down to go home, I put my sunglasses on and let the tears flow quietly as I was surrounded by men and did not want them to hear me cry. I did ask God what is it He wants me to learn besides, I am failing all the time. The verse Phil 4:4 " Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice." Joshua 1 :9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." The Lord knows me so well. I am frightened a lot, but the Lord is with me and I am learning a lot. I remember in University they had written, "Keep on keeping on. " When the Lord is walking with you do you really need anyone else? No, though it is nice to have people in your life to walk through life with but really all you need is the Lord Himself. Adamo and I are studying and it is a little easier for him since he reads Italian as it is his mother language. I will have to depend on the Lord to help me because the language is higher than where I am. We will celebrate when we can drive again. I already told Adamo where I want to go when I get my license, my favorite place....Lido di Camaiore and I bet Adamo will want to go to Cinque Terre for his celebration. :)

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Living By Faith

9/10/2023

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Living by faith is a beautiful concept. Most people read a biography about George Mueller or read his autobiography and think that his way of living is the right way of living. I do not disagree with you, but I will say, this way of living is NOT for the faint of heart and it takes a lifetime to master. We are still learning. I want to start this conversation by posing a question, If you can trust God for your salvation and spending eternity with Him, can you trust this amazing God with your life here on earth. THAT is the presupposition that George Mueller started with when he started the orphanage. His number 1 reason for starting the orphanage was not the orphans. His number 1 reason for starting the orphanage was to show the people in his church that God loves them and WILL provide for them. The key was that he only told God his needs. People say that George Mueller had the gift of faith. No, he did not and even he would say he did not. He exercised his muscle of faith and learned his and our God. If you read his autobiography and then read his writings when he was ninety you will see something amazing about George Mueller, a progression. As an analogy I will use body building. George Mueller in the beginning of his living by faith was like an adolescent boy not much muscles. When he was on the row houses he was like a 24 year old man somewhat ripped but that is it. I say that because he prayed hours and constantly checked mailboxes for any gifts. I would say he was calm on the outside but a bit stressed on the inside. You read when he was ninety and you have a man of faith like Mr. Olympian. He prayed a simple prayer about the needs of the orphans and went to sleep. He knew God would provide. Interesting point, when he was in the row houses he would have massive migraines when he was older he was never sick. The more you exercise your muscle of faith the more it grows.
What is the reality of living by faith? I said it is not for the faint of heart. Your bills may be late to be paid. Your kids will not be in extra curricular activities unless you start them. You will not be going on family vacations. You will be broke a lot, though you will have a roof over your head, food on your table and clothes on your back, which means God has provided. The lessons I have learned are a lot. When we moved to Colorado from California I have always said we entered God's school. From University I graduated with a major and a double minor. One of the minors is an automatic Bible minor. Doctrines was a hard class because you had to memorize passages of the Bible. I think God's school is harder because God knows you from head to toe. He knows your weaknesses and where you need to grow. He is a firm and hard teacher but One that is compassionate, loving, merciful, and kind. In 2008 when the economy crashed we lost everything. Our money came from California. Between August and September 2008 our income dropped to half because California's housing bubble bust. I was pregnant with my youngest. I am the accountant of our family. I understood the gravity of the situation. I tried to explain to Adamo but he was not following and I had zero patience to explain so I asked if I could be by myself for a while I needed to talk to God and he said yes. I was in the room for hours wrestling with God because I did not want to go through what I knew we had to go through. I cried and talked with God. I asked if I have to go through a bankruptcy could He please help me and hold my hand through it. He gave me peace. By the time I walk out the Lord strengthened me which was necessary because when Adamo realized the gravity of everything I had to be there for him for many months following the bankruptcy. The Lord provided a house to rent, which we lived in for 13 years, and a mini van, because I had to surrender our other minivan. The Lord took care of us. When I read George Mueller I struggle because I knew God can provide for us I just was not sure if He would want provide for us. I slowly learned the answer was yes. I learned the answers do not look as you expect. Some lessons I learned: 1) God doesn't work on our timetable. We didn't have the money to pay the electric bill and the due date came and went and nothing. I remember that sometimes the money came "late" and I kept trusting. The next day something sold and I could pay the bill. 2) God's answer is not what we are expecting. One of many nights we did not have anything for dinner though God always provided we never went to bed hungry. We had a package of pasta. The Lord allowed a lot of rain and the dandelions were plentiful. For Americans, it is a weed, but it is a healthy herb and Adamo had the boys help him pick up the dandelion leaves and he cleaned them and made a pasta dish with them. 3)Be thankful for even $1. I needed rent which was $1850 at the time. I received a check in the mail for $1.47 for overpayment at a doctors office. I was rejoicing because I knew God was going to provide the rest. Adamo said that is not the rent money and I said I know but if you cannot be thankful for $1.47 you will not be thankful for $1850. I learned from George Mueller as he was thankful for 6 pence. 4) God only has a plan A so get on it and stop planning plan B. Every time we tried to start plan B God never blessed it. It failed. In Psalms 139:5 David mentions "You hem me in, behind and before and lay your hand upon me. " Adamo and I affectionately call that the room with no windows and doors. We were there for years. No matter how hard you tried you cannot get out. The Lord left the top open so we could look UP. We finally got to a place we rested and looked up and found the beauty of the room. We enjoyed when the Lord let us out and we could make money, but we learned the Lord will take care of us. I have so many stories of God's provisions. One I will share is when my Italian citizenship came through. I finished the paperwork in 2015, that had its own amazing stories, Adamo asked me how will we get to Chicago when the citizenship comes through? I said I do not know but if God provided and orchestrated this far He knows. Well, in 2018 we found out. Normally, our hail season is late spring early summer. God had protected our car all these years. The hail would start after we parked in the garage or the hail stopped before we came to the area. August 2018 Adamo said as he took Leonardo to the store, " I hope it rains so I don't have to water." Within 7 to 10 minutes the heavens opened and hail poured down until it looked like snow. Our car was damaged. Our other adopt brother and uncle to the boys mentioned to call the insurance. After we got off the phone with the insurance and she said the check was in the mail, we went to Lowes, which is a hardware store. Gianluca called me and said I think your citizenship came through. I asked how do you know and he said it has your maiden name and it is from Chicago. When I got off the phone I looked at Adamo and said the hail storm was how God was going to pay for the trip for my citizenship. I had everything paid for and as we were leaving, there was an envelope on the door. Inside there was $500. I wondered why God gave us $500. We deposited on our way to the airport. I found out after the trip. The hotel put a hold on my debit card when I checked in. Before the $500 I did not have extra money in the bank. The Lord provided the $500 for the hold and incidental costs we did not know about. I learned from George Mueller you see how much is in your bank say $60 and you need $2000 don't look horizontal, meaning man's perspective or what you see because you will shake and shake you do, but look upward to God, vertical, and rest in the Lord. It takes some spiritual muscle to do that because the flesh wants to look at what you see. Through the years though I have learned to be thankful for EVERYTHING. I realized I deserve absolutely nothing and am so thankful for everything anyone gives or does or what we have. God is so gracious.
If you want to live by faith find verses to cling to and to pray to the Lord. If you are a missionary don't fall to the trap of thinking God cannot provide unless you tell everyone your needs. I have always said do not treasure the most those that give you money because you will compromise for the dollar, but treasure the most the prayer warriors that can give you nothing because they are fighting spiritual battles for you. God owns the universe and He can provide for you through Christians and non Christians, but only Christians can pray on your behalf. Verses I cling to Psalm 94:17-19, Mark 11:24. Luke 22:35, Psalm 55:22, Psalm 123:1-2, Isaiah 26:3-4, Psalm 104:17-18, Philippians 4:4-7, I John 5:14-15, Matt. 6:33. May the Lord Jesus be glorified!

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Journey Update 2023

8/20/2023

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I am planning to do a journey update about once a year. It is to update the tab that says our journey. It will be the most personal blog and longer than normal. As with all our blogs I will always be honest and not paint anything better or worse than it really is. We are sinners saved by grace walking on this journey of life living for Christ. Some days we are victorious and sometimes we fall flat on our faces. We have not “arrived” spiritually until we are dead and with Christ.
We have been here in Italy for 1 year and 5 months. At times it feels so much longer than that and at times it feels like we just got here. A friend of ours, who we adopted as an uncle to our kids, told us years ago that the move to Italy is going to be hard and it puts a lot of strain on a marriage. The cracks that may be little in the States will be more visible in the move and transition of living in another country. For some people the strain gets to be too much on the marriage. I knew he was right, but I figured after our first year of marriage we could face anything. Our first year of marriage was anything but a honeymoon period. I had my major operation in Aug. 2000. It had a 6-week recovery, but I could not take 6 weeks because I had to plan a wedding and teach. I was an elementary school teacher. My body was struggling to keep up. Then we got married Dec. 2000. In January, I had another surgery and was put on Lupron, which puts the body in a medicated menopause. My body gave out and I couldn’t teach.   June, Adamo had major hand surgery. He is a hairstylist. I got off Lupron in June because the side effects were so bad that I could not take it anymore. August 2001, I had another surgery, and I got a pelvic infection from it. In September 2001 I found out I was pregnant with our first son. We also dealt with a lot of outside pressure from people. We were so happy to celebrate our first anniversary. We survived and made it. 😊 Every year has been like aging wine it gets better. So, I thought after surviving the first year we would be able to handle the move and transition even though we both knew the pressure would be intense. The pressure was intense, and it did everything our adopted brother said. The Lord held us together. Once we got into our place, we began to rebuild our marriage. We started going on an occasional date. We started walking together and talking. We prayed together. We continue to strengthen our marriage and it keeps getting better and better.
What were some of the intensities that we faced. It started with selling our stuff and deciding what to keep. It does not sound stressful but oddly enough it is. We had been in our house for 13 years so that is a lot of stuff you can accumulate.   The last year was the most stressful not just because there was the packing, we had to get health things taken care of before we left. We had gotten the covid shot to ensure we could get into the country. That had bad consequences for me. I was very sick one week a month for about 5 -6 months. Adamo would nurse me back to health every time. I was teaching in a ladies Bible study in the fall. In October 2021 I had surgery. Adamo had fallen 6 months before and so in October he had 2 molars extracted from infection from the fall. Adamo had a surgery on his nerve in his arm. Then we had all our checkups from eyes, teeth to anything you can think of. Once we landed in Italy, I thought it would not be that difficult to find a place to live. We were looking for a place like the States but more modest at least 3bdrm 2 bath with kitchen but unfurnished. You would think I was asking for the world. 😊 Unfurnished in Italy is no kitchen and no fixtures meaning lights. I was fine with that, but here to get in is 3 months rent but you must pay the realtor fees. I found a place right when I landed but the owner would not meet us. It is interesting that was in Borgo a Mozzano which is close to where we live. It was perfect, but the Lord said no. I was not expecting it to take so long, and I did not do short term rental for 3 months. I had to scramble to find new accommodation every month. The Lord was faithful. We always had a roof over our heads, food on our table and clothes on our backs. We were good. It was very expensive to do vacation rentals. We are 6 people. We did not have just 6 luggage like if you were on vacation we had 12 large duffle bags, 6 carry-ons and 6 backpacks. Every place we lived we had to buy things to make the place work for our family. Moving from place to place took about 6 to 7 carloads. Every place we found and put an application in the owner would say, “Unfortunately we decided to give the apartment to our friend”. We had the pressure of knowing that we had 2 pallets coming and we needed an address, and I was seeing the move was wearing on the boys as depression was setting in. Some of the owners wanted a whole year’s rent and would only rent to us for 1 year. You don’t get residency like that. You need residency in order to buy a car. We were renting a car for about 950 to 1000 euros a month and it was a dump. We knew we were being taken advantage of and were desperate to get residency. Finally, the realtor said it will take an act of God for us to get a place to live. Well……. God acted. In a week after the man said that we had a place. We shared with him and others what God did. We have rented a 3 bedroom and 2 bath house with a garden. When Adamo originally said he wanted a garden I thought he was nuts because most people live in apartments and we would be doing good to get one, but God gave it to him. Unfortunately furnished but the owner was willing to remove furniture as we replace some of it. You might ask what is the big deal about whether it is furnished or unfurnished. When you buy a bed, sofa, books, table, kitchen equipment it makes you feel permanent. When you have completely nothing you feel like it is not your home and temporary. The kids and I for sure needed to feel permanent. We just left everything. I knew from moving through my life the faster you feel connected to your home the sooner you feel like you ARE home and can move out from it to assimilate. We worked hard to make this house a home. The house had a 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment that was being rented. When it became available, we prayed about it to see if the Lord would allow us to have the whole house and use the bedroom as my study and guest bedroom. The Lord allowed us by allowing the price to be dropped. We couldn’t have afforded it if the price hadn’t dropped. Now we have 2 kitchens which is better for my health. The gluten is in the little kitchen and Adamo preps food from the gluten free kitchen to keep me from contamination. Originally the only thing that I wanted that I didn’t get was a study because I cannot concentrate when everyone is around me talking to me. It is impossible. I think I have had ADHD all these years and never knew it. 😊The Lord, through the apartment, answered my heart’s desire.    I love having a study! I just listen to music and can study and write. We are looking forward to having people to stay with us. We have been praying that the Lord shows us who He wants us to house. I was very purposeful to make sure that the boys were okay. I moved as a kid. I liked moving because I was the type of child that wanted to see what was on the other side of the mountain, but I knew my brother hated it. He was bullied a lot being the new kid. I never forgot that and watched out for my boys.
Adamo and I have been thankful for everyone God has brought across our path on our journey. We embraced them. I like the Italian way more than the American. I am not big on ‘I love you’ between friends but in Italian it is ‘ti voglio bene’ Adamo explained to me it is ‘I care for you’ type of I love you. That is how I feel about every person I let in my life. I think the definition of ti voglio bene is Adamo. He has such a big heart and is so quick to love people. He goes an extra mile for people. Over the years I have learned so much from him and how he cares for people. I totally represent my name Lentini – Slow. 😊 I am slow to embrace people but when I do I “ti voglio bene” hard those people. If that makes sense. We have found here making friends is harder. It does remind me of Los Angeles, CA. A lot of people I met with Adamo there, it was about if they could profit from you or you had some benefit to them, they were interested in knowing you. If not, they weren’t. The other was, if you were in the right circles. It is sad…I guess people today do not need genuine people to genuinely care for them. I do. Nothing brings me more joy than when my adopted brother or sister writes to me. Adamo and I adopt people to be brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and mothers and fathers.   I don’t know if the custom is alive any more here. I know it is in other countries. Adamo taught me that when you are truly embraced by a family you become apart of the family. I really like the custom. Adamo struggled because in America we don’t have the custom. He would embrace people like that, and most people took it, we are good friends but there was always the distinction between family and friends. He would get hurt. Here they will not get remotely close enough to be embraced. I think the Lord will bring the right people to be in those positions. We have a few in the States and are very thankful for them.
The other interesting struggle is Adamo is born and raised in Italy and speaks Italian and his whole family is in Italy but when he came back his own people call him an American. It was a hard one for Adamo. He has NEVER left who he is as an Italian. He is a US citizen, but he is a proud Italian. He never compromised how he eats or cooks. For the longest time we ate at Italian mealtimes. He never lost who he is and where he came from. It was hard for him to hear. He was a bit devastated when we first came.
All these things add up along with just plain culture shock that hit us in the face when we walked off the plane. As an American the hardest has been, I understand my language, the ins and outs of that language and culture and come here and being reduced to a kindergartener. You feel lost a lot. I have an engineer mind I like to understand how things work including language. The frustration at times gets really high. Realizing language and all of its nuances will take me a lifetime to learn. I will be here until I am with the Lord. This is my new country and home. We are all slowly embracing our new home of Italy and for I think most of us we plan to live and die here. May our lives reflect Christ while we live and in how we die.

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Persevering When Life is Hard

7/23/2023

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We live in interesting times. The world looks like chaos, inflation is felt, and people are getting colder by the year. On Instagram reals or YouTube reals you see tons of short clips telling people it is better to be alone than deal with people and the pain they can cause. You do see how people in the world today really don't care about one another. The hardest thing we have discovered is that a large amount people we have come in contact with befriend us not because they like and want to be friends with us but because they are hoping to get business out of us. If we are not useful to them, then they are not interested. What do you do when you feel like you are alone and the world is crashing around you and no one seems to care? You do the only thing you can do. You turn to the Savior - Your Savior. The beautiful hymn says it well 'Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus' is exactly what we should do.
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus look full, in his wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace."
A wonderful sister in Christ that is dealing with a lot right now said it best, "I just need the Lord's strength and His Word to help me to keep going." She mentioned this Proverb.
Proverbs 24:16 (ESV) - "For a righteous man falls seven times and rises again; But the wicked stumble in times of calamity."
To persevere is what we are to do. Hebrews 13: 5b-6 , "I will never leave you nor forsake you" So we can confidently say, " The Lord is my helper I will not fear what can man do to me?"
What about avoiding people to keep our peace and to live in peace? How about if you are an introvert? I am an introvert. I have been nervous around people my whole life. If there is a dog or a baby I will rather play with them then deal with the adults. People can exhaust me where my husband is the opposite. I love peace like anyone. So, should we peace loving introverts avoid people like the plague and self-protect for the rest of our lives? No. God has saved us and told us to go and serve Him. We were created to be social and be with people. We should love our Savior more than we love ourself. Yes, you may get hurt and it may be messy sometimes, but we have the Lord Jesus who will always be with us and will comfort us when it hurts. Can you say in your heart and with my heart Psalm 73: 25-26 " Whom have I in heaven but You? and there is nothing on earth I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."? God will give us the strength to love and the love for others. He will give us the strength and the grace to persevere through the trials of life. Our prayer should be, "Lord, please help me. I know nothing comes in my life that you have not ordained for my good. I know You will sustain me in every since of the word 'to sustain'. Please use me for Your glory and honor. May I never turn cold like my environment and may I have the courage to love expecting nothing in return. Thank you for never leaving me nor forsaking me." May we persevere to the end and even when we fall we get back up and keep going for the love of our Savior, Jesus.

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Love...Does it Characterize Your Life?

9/3/2020

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Love is amazing and yet it is very deep and one of the hardest things to do, to truly love God and others. Why is that? To truly love God and others requires to take yourself out of the equation. It is not about you and what you can get out of the relationship or getting praise or even thanks for things you did. I had someone tell me recently that he doesn't know how to love others, even family. The thing I admire about this person is he is very honest. I think most people can at least fake it. How do we know how to love? We can only know how to love because God first love us. We can see this demonstrated in the Old Testament all the way through to the New Testament. Some people may say, "I don't like the Old Testament because God is always angry. How can you say that God's love is demonstrated in the Old Testament?" I am so glad you asked.
In Numbers 14:18 - "The LORD is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression but He will by no means clear the guilty visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation" we learn a lot about God. God is slow to anger. We are to be so grateful that he is not quick tempered as WE are because who could stand. We sin against a holy God every day. If we got what we DESERVED, we would be killed instantly and go straight to hell. We should praise and thank God everyday that He is slow to anger. God is abounding in steadfast love. I love the word steadfast. It means it does not waiver. When you are the Lord's, His love will not move, waiver, or fail. It cannot fail because those that are in Christ have His name written on them and God cannot deny or abandon Himself. We also learn that God is not a passive, permissive parent. If you remember, God's chosen people are the people of Israel. God brought them out of Egypt and freed them from slavery. Instead of gratefulness and loving the Lord their God, they complained, disobeyed, brought their idols from Egypt with them, and after all the Lord did for them they did not trust Him. The Lord punished them throughout the 40 years in the wilderness. In fact, that generation did not get to enter the promise land that God wanted to give them because they did not trust Him. It is called their consequence for their bad rebellious behavior. We see this in our lives as we raise our children. If our children act rebellious and disobey we will give our children consequences for their behavior. Does it mean that we don't love our children, of course not. We want our children to learn to do what is right. God desired to bless the children of Israel and not to curse them, but they chose to disobey and rebel.
Deuteronomy 5:10 "But showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love Me and keep My commandments" If you are thinking with a human sinful view you would think God is selfish that He only loves those who obey him. That is NOT the case. Think of your children. I will share something that happened with my son. When our second son was little and my husband traveled a lot, our son always acted angry towards me and got angry when I asked him to do something. I asked him, "Why do you hate me so much?" He said, "I don't hate you." I said, "If you don't hate me why are you always angry at me and won't do the little thing I am asking you to do?" It hit me that day, the Lord is asking that of me as well. If I really love Him why don't I do what He is asking me to do? When you love someone you show it by doing what they ask. God is saying those that keep my commandments show they love me and I will continue to show my steadfast love towards them. All God wanted from the children of Israel is for them to love Him and to demonstrate that by keeping His commandments. That is in a nutshell the book of Deuteronomy. It is a beautiful book.
Now for the New Testament. The greatest example of all from the New Testament is God the Father sending the Son to earth to die on the cross for our sins so that we can now have a relationship with Him and enjoy Him forever. Jesus said in John 15:`13-14 - "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you." Christ died for our sins and how do we show our love for Him, by doing what He commands. As you can see it is what is paralleled in the Old Testament. If we truly love God we will demonstrate that by obeying Him. If you remember Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-39 " And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." These are the commandments you are to obey. They fulfill the law and the prophets. Now, I want to focus on the second great command "You shall love your neighbor as yourself". This is by far the hardest. You are seeing in todays world hate is ruling. I remember when President Trump got elected I would see the sign "love trumps hate" I think an older person must of thought that slogan up. All I saw was hate trumping love. That phrase would require people to understand the game of Bridge or actually know what the word meant. The phrase was to mean basically what Jesus preached, "love your neighbor as yourself." It means love rules over hate or is greater than hate. I love how Jesus changed it with His disciples because he said in John 13:34 - "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." This command sound very close to "love your neighbor as yourself" but what changed? The bench mark or the measuring stick! The measuring stick for loving others is not ourselves any more but CHRIST! What is His standard? He gave His life for us so that we may live and live for Him. That is a very high standard of love. We can only love others that way by being IN Christ and depending on Him every moment of every day. Can we do it perfectly? No, but by the grace of God as we grow in Christ we will become like Christ. Feed on the Word of God and let it transform you from the inside out. It is the only LIVING book we have. Let us strive to grow to know our Lord and Savior and love Him more and in loving Him we will love others as our Savior loves us.

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In Troubled Times

8/5/2020

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2 Chronicles 16: 9a - "For the eyes of the LORD roam throughout the earth to show himself strong for those who are wholeheartedly devoted to him."

Psalm 12:7 & 8 - "You, LORD, will guard us, you will protect us from this generation forever. The wicked prowl all around and what is worthless is exalted by the human race."

Psalm 31:15a "My times are in your hand;"

"To rest in the Lord - that is our business. To rely only on him - that is our sole concern." - Spurgeon

When watching the news or reading articles online it is so easy to get discouraged at the negativity and evil that is happening in our world. Sometimes you may feel even helpless. Some may be discouraged because of what Covid-19 has done to the economy and you may be wondering how are you going to pay your bills and feed your family. Some may be dealing with a chronic illness and you are tired of being sick and can get depressed because in your head and heart you want to do so much but your body does not want to cooperate. These verses should encourage you. You are not abandoned or alone in this world if you belong to the Lord Jesus Christ.

I love the words of Spurgeon "To rest in the Lord - that is our business. To rely only on him- that is our sole concern." This is so true and scripture confirms this Philip 4:4-7 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again; Rejoice! Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." I can't even count how many times I have quoted this passage to the Lord in my prayers as I am pleading with Him in whatever the circumstances may be. As we deal with trials in our own life or are looking at the world at large. Colossians 3:1-4 "So if you have been raised with Christ seek the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." We have to keep our eyes on our risen Savior not on what you see. George Mueller said that if he were to just look at what they had in money compared to what they owed and only look at it from a man, horizontal view, he would shake. Instead, he looked at what he had and what he owed and looked vertical to God and rested in Him, who is faithful, to provide and He did every time. Trust the promises of God! They are true and you can take them to the "bank" and cash them, as Spurgeon says.

If I can encourage you in anything, keep your eyes on Christ not on this world. God is Sovereign! Don't waste any trial God brings your way. Use it to draw you closer to our Lord and Savior. May you look back and see that your trials were the sweetest times in your life. Remember also that Christ's death on the cross and His resurrection conquered sin and death and those in Christ are free to live for Christ and can enjoy an amazing relationship with the Savior. As one in Christ, we are to be the salt and light of this world. May we live in such a way we shine a light on our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ!

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Chronic Illness - The Hidden Blessings

Legalism the Counterfeit Faith

When Life Doesn't Go Your Way

Living By Faith

Journey Update 2023

Persevering When Life is Hard

Love...Does it Characterize Your Life?

In Troubled Times

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